I'm sorry
by miss dungarees
Summary: From day one Draco was in love with her, but now he has a job to do and he'll be damned if his soft heart gets in the way of his duties... Hermione thought this time it would be different, that he truly cared... falling in love shouldn't hurt this much.
1. Chapter 1

Riiiiiiiiiiiiite now this is like really short, the story as a whole will actually be really long I hope but I jus wanted to do this to see if I should carry on, future chapters will be way longer this is just a little introduction, review if you think I should carry on.

The harry potter books do not belong to me, wel actually some of them do but i didnt rite them or nethink thats wat i'm trying to say

It was one week until Christmas. The hall was decorated the tinsel was up and enchanted mistletoe had been placed carefully around the school. Any two people found under it would feel the desperate desire to kiss each other before forgetting all about it and feeling slightly dazed for the next five minutes. This was, or so Dumbledoor thought, extremely amusing to watch.

Every teenager in the building, and many of the adults were behaving like small children, this was through no faulty spell or cheeky trick but purely through the excitement of the fact that it was nearly Christmas. For two weeks the whole of the school grounds and all the places around had experienced huge blizzards, blocking up the railways and any other way out. Due to the students not being allowed to apperate the whole school had been ordered to spend Christmas at Hogwarts.

As you can imagine, stuck inside for two weeks had had a huge impact on the students who were now all ridiculously restless and had given up any form of studying. The teachers were feeling the same and so the school was in a ginormouse unstoppable party mood. Looking around all you could see was happy smiling faces you would never spot a sour look, not even between a slytherin and a Griffindoor, everyone appeared to be happy. Which was almost true, the only person that was truly miserable chose to hide away in his room, and fake it when it came to mingling.

Draco Malfoy sat alone in his bedroom, he knew, as head boy, that he would need to come out soon but for now he couldn't be bare it. He had known about his father's plans for him a long time ago but it was only now that he had been forced to properly think about them, and what the consequences included. Since august that year, the death eaters had known that voldermort was indeed planning on coming back in to power. The only way of doing this was by drinking the blood of a muggleborn, and not just any muggleborn. What did this have to do with Draco? Everything.

Lucius Malfoy was one of Voldemorts most trusted followers and so his son was assumed to be just as trustworthy. Draco had the job of gaining the trust of this muggleborn, lead her to the deatheaters and when the time came, he would be the one that got to kill her. When the plan had been explained to him three years ago he had been fine, even a little exited, the girl thought she was so much better than him and one day he would get to show her who was boss. Sod's law would have it that in those three years he'd managed to go and fall hopelessly in love with her.

So Draco sat, looking out of the frosty window, gazing at the snow fall in heavy sheet all across the school grounds and tried to do what he had spent the last two years trying to do, forget about his feelings, and numb his heart.

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Hemione Granger sighed satisfactorily and wriggled further in to the tub, making some of the water splash over the sides. She was looking forward to spending Christmas with all of her friends even though she was a little disappointed to not be with her family. She took a deep breath and hauled herself out of the bath.

Wrapping a towel around her body she made her way to her bedroom, she didn't have to worry about seeing Draco because he had been in his room for the past two weeks, only coming out for food and even then he didn't say anything to her. She couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed by this she loved fighting with him, she could take out all of her anger that she had built up from other parts of her life on him.

There was a time when she had thought they might have been friends, about three years ago she had noticed the sneer had gone from Draco's face, he started to speak to her civilly, not in public of course but from time to time. After about a month though the sneer came back and Draco became even meaner than ever. Hermione couldn't understand it but forced herself not to care.

Hermione pulled on her clothes and charmed her hair dry. Didn't want to take to long because it was dinner in a few minutes and she knew that Harry, now her boyfriend, would be waiting for her. They had been seeing each other since October and it was going well. Harry seemed completely besotted with Hermione and she enjoyed his company because he was sweet and nice to be with. The golden trio was now a thing of the past as Lavender, Ginny, Neville, and Dean Thomas were all apart of their group now. Hermione loved having girlfriends to relate to and Harry and Ron loved the fact that they could do guy things without having to worry about leaving Hermione out. Hermione was finding her last year at Hogwarts to be her best, perfect friends, perfect boyfriend, and perfect grades…

Hermione walked out of her room to walk straight in to Draco, he looked a mess and tensed up visibly when he saw her. He sneered and pushed past her and made his way to the great hall.

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Draco was walking so fast he was in danger of running. His heart was close to falling out of his chest. Why the hell did he have to fall for her of all people? He mentally kicked himself, he needed to get a grip, he was never going to be able to do this other wise.

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	2. six days til christmas

Thanks to reviewers, I love the word ginormouse also. Sorry for taking so long with this but my GCSEs are really making life hard for me I have so much coursework I need to be doing but hey, hope you enjoy this. x x x x x

Six days 'til Christmas.

Hermione gazed dreamily at nothing in particular, she had had a heavy sleep and was still not quite fully conscious. The owls had come with early Christmas presents for the students from their families, the gifts were now stored safely in an enchanted room to stop any peekers trying to get a glance at their presents, none of the students had managed to buy any presents themselves because the huge snowfall had prevented any way of Christmas shopping. Hermione was delighted to see that today there were more decorations than there had been the previous morning. She finished her cereal and rose to leave.

'Where you off to Hermione?' asked Harry, his mouth full of toast

'I was just on my way back to my room, I have a book I'm nearly at the end of' Hermione smiled at Harry who knew the importance of finishing a great book.

'Don't forget, Griffindoor common room at ten o'clock for a massive game of sharads' Said Ron beaming, Christmas always had this effect on him he was in constant relaxed, happy mood, Hermione hadn't tried but she knew she could say pretty much anything offensive to Ron at that moment and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid.

Hermione skipped up the steps of the hall and sauntered out of the huge doors. The halls were fairly quiet as she walked up to her room, as she turned the corner she heard people, she looked and saw poor old Collin Creavy and Crabbe looking dazed at each other. Simultaneously they leaned in and kissed very quickly on the lips.

Hermione couldn't help laughing, it wasn't until she heard more laughter that she realised the presence of Malfoy who was currently on his arse roaring his head off. She caught his eye and his laughter prevented his sneer from showing although Hermione was sure it was there. Collin and Crabbe looked confusedly at Draco and Hermione who were now in tears, the looks on their faces only added to her funniness of the whole situation.

Collin walked off and Crabbe went off in the opposite direction. Hermione stared at the floor to subside her giggles, eventually she managed to reduce them to mere whimpers.

She took her eyes off the ground and looked at Malfoy who was in the same state. Malfoy took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, still looking at her after about a second they both started again.

Later on, after finishing her book and after playing sharads with the over excited Ron, Hermione lay in the bath letting her mind wander.

Her mind wandered to Draco sat in the next room, she had never seen him smile like that before, his whole face changed when he did, his eyes became warmer, his cheekbones softer and Hermione was shocked to see that he had dimples.

Draco had looked like a very ordinary person and a good-looking one at that. Hermione shook all thoughts of her archenemy being fit out of her head.

Draco Malfoy sat alone on his bed looking out of the castle windows and trying to count the stars in the sky. Every time her thought of her laughing face his heart warmed and then broke straight after.

He should have been proud of himself, he might not have said anything but he had managed to maintain some kind of friendly eye contact although it seemed small it was a huge step to achieving his goal, he screwed up his face in annoyance when he remembered he only had five days left.

He wandered down the stairs to the common room he shared with Hermione. She was sat in the armchair next to the fire and when she noticed him she looked up from her muggle magazine, Draco offered a smile and she gave him one back.

He casually walked past her and picked up his own magazine and sat on the sofa opposite her. He strained his eyes to read one of the headings of the front of her magazine. 'How to work off the Christmas binge' he read one of them aloud then looked up at her, 'put on a bit of weight have we?' he teased.

Hermione looked up meaning to frown but somehow smiling instead, there was just something in his voice that night that made it impossible to be mad at him.

'What do you mean by that?' She feigned Indignance. 'Are you calling me fat?'

Draco held up his hands in mock defence, 'not at all' he said before boldly adding, 'you always look good to me'

Hermione blushed and looked back down at her book, humiliated that her heart was beating, she had a boyfriend for god's sake.

Later that night they both dreamed of each other, Hermione dreamed of promises, friendship and love, Draco of betrayal longing and death…

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	3. 5 days 'til christmas

Yo dudeys here is chap 3 review an u will make me leap around my room like a small child with a bag of haribo, I know you wont get to see this but trust me it is quite amusing xxx

I dnt own harry potter

5 Days 'til Christmas

Hermione woke up the morning with a dreamy smile on her face. She peeked out of her window pulling back the heavy velvet curtains the school grounds were still covered in a thick blanket of snow. The sky was clear blue and the sun was shining brightly.

Her heart jumped a bit when she remembered the previous night, _'you always look good to me'._

It wasn't like Harry never paid her any complements, he was always doing it but never once had he seemed as sincere as Draco had last night.

Hermione laughed at herself, of course he wasn't being serious he was probably expecting her to roll her eyes and make a snappy remark about sexual harassment. That's what she should have done, what she would have done normally funny how seeing a person smile could change your perception of them on a matter of seconds.

She made her way to the bathroom to have a shower. As she walked in she froze. Draco was stood there in nothing but a towel, cleaning his teeth. His eyes were bloodshot and he didn't notice Hermione when she first walked in, only when Hermione muttered her apologies did he turn to look at her.

He studied her closely, hoping to god that she couldn't hear the thumping of his heart. She looked like an angel. Her hair was all over the place and the night slip she was wearing clung to all the right places. Draco didn't understand how anyone could look that innocent and at the same time so desperately sexy. He muttered some thing inaudible to Hermione and quickly left.

He marched quickly in to his room slamming the door behind him then whacking it with his head. He clenched his fists and tried to stop himself from screaming out loud. He rubbed his temples and tried to get his nerve back. He gazed over to his bedside table at the silver sparkle coming from something on its surface.

_3 am that morning_

_Draco's restless sleep was disturbed by a small pop. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and tried to get his eyes accustomed to the darkness of the room. Suddenly the lamps flittered on and before him stood his father. _

'_With less than 6 days left to complete the task I'd rather hoped you would be a little closer to having her under your thumb' Lucius said stonily. _

'_Don't worry about it father, I have it all under control' Draco was now sat up trying to hide the shivers, he wasn't cold. _

'_I don't care how you do it boy, I need that girl alive, in this room on the 25th of December at 12 o'clock at night' _

'_she will be there, no problem, midnight sharp'_

_Lucius put his hand in to his pocket and brought out a silver thin chain, attached was a small silver pendant with diamonds that glistened in the light._

'_I want her wearing this as well, now be careful son this necklace can not be forced on, the wearer must be willing to wear it, however once it is on it cannot be removed by anyone other than a pure blood.' _

'_What will the necklace do?' Draco asked curiously_

'_You will see in good time you must have faith in lord voldemort' _

'_Will we kill her?' Draco was trying to hide the fear in his voice_

'_Of course we will you idiot' Lucius scolded, 'oh dear, I do hope you haven't become too attached to her, that would really be to bad, remember, no cock ups from you, it will only result in death for you and I'm sure you don't want that' _

'_Don't worry father, as for becoming attached to her I'm starting to doubt your sanity. I expected you of all people to understand that I could never love something as filthy as that.'_

'_Good then there's no problem, one other thing Draco' _

'_Yes father' Draco said through gritted teeth_

'_It has been decided that when we collect her she will need to be in a fragile emotional state, her magic will be weaker then so she will be less likely to attempt escape, not that she'd succeed but its less hassle for us if she goes quietly. I'll leave it up to you how you do it I'm sure you'll find some way of breaking her heart.' _

_With that he was gone and Draco punched the wall so hard that his knuckles began to bleed. He then fell in to a terrifying restless slumber. _

Draco sighed, he knew what to do, he had a plan and, in theory, it was fool proof. He just couldn't trust himself not to mess it up.

Later that day Hermione and Draco were both sat by the fire in the common room they had just had their first full civil conversation and both were a little shocked.

'How's it going with Harry then?' Draco asked carefully

'Oh,' Hermione hadn't really thought about Harry much lately, she'd seen him briefly but he's always seemed a little distracted, Hermione, being distracted herself didn't really notice or mind. 'Its ok I suppose'

'That good eh?' Draco said with a frown

'What do you mean by that?' Hermione said stiffly folding her arms across her chest.

'I didn't mean any thing by it!' Draco sat up defensively, 'But you could do a lot better'

'Oh like who? You perhaps?' Hermione said a little louder than was necessary and standing up.

'And why not!' Draco shouted, standing up too.

'Because, your… YOU'

'Cleverly observed but what does this have to do with you and me?' Draco replied sarcastically

'There is no you and me you jerk' Hermione was red in the face, 'there never has been, there never will be. Not only do I have a boyfriend but you have spent most of your teenage life thinking up hurtful nicknames for me and using them… a lot!'

'And why do you think I did that?' Draco roared.

Hermione shook her head in disbelief 'what the hell has gotten in to you in the last couple of days' she said quietly as she left the common room and went up to her bedroom.

'You have no idea' Draco murmured once she was out of earshot

Good night my pretties! Please review if u dnt then I wont carry on! I'm kinda likin this fic, I know everythings happenin quite quickly but theres gonna be more to the story. Also will people plz stop askin me wen im gonna update shut up I'v finished with that now I might pick it back up one day but for now the end stays as it is, the chapter is called the end and at the beginning of the chapter I said that this would be the last, sorry guys!


	4. four days 'til christmas

I don't own Harry Potter, duh!

4 Days 'til Christmas

Hermione was confused, what had changed in Draco lately? She wasn't surprised that he had a soul, she knew that already, she always knew that behind the sneer was an real, kind person. What confused her was the fact that he was actually allowing the real him to be seen by her.

Seeing him like this was having a strange effect on her and she didn't like it one bit.

- - -

Hermione stared at the jet-black that was the back of Harry's head, he hadn't said a word to her all morning. On thinking about it more Hermione realised that he had been off with her for a few weeks but was too consumed in the excitement of Christmas coming to notice. This morning though, it was hard not to realise something was up. He had offered her a small smile when she had sat down beside him for breakfast but not the usual kiss on the cheek and cuddle.

Hermione wasn't too bothered by it all, which in itself worried her, she busied herself by panicking about Draco and the conversation they had had the night before. She was sure he couldn't possibly have feelings for her but what was all that about? She tried to pretend to herself that Draco had nothing to do with the fact that she could feel herself going off Harry.

Her eyes fluttered across the room and rested on Draco, she tried to ignore the way her heart jumped at the sight of him, he looked up and smiled at her. Hermione frowned at him and quickly looked away.

- - -

Hermione was walking alone to potions alone, Harry had disappeared right after breakfast and Ron had run back up to his room to collect his books.

'Hey' came a voice from behind her. Draco was jogging up behind her a big grin on his face.

'What are you up to Malfoy?' Hermione asked accusingly

'Nothing, why would I be up to anything?' He asked earnestly

'Well you seem too nice considering our big fat argument last night'

'Oh' he shrugged, 'I'm over that, that was just a little strop'

Hermione shook her head in disbelief, 'you are just one big mood swing' then smiled despite herself.

- - -

Draco's skin prickled as she smiled at him, he couldn't decide whether seeing her smile like that was making him feel warm and happy or whether it was tearing his heart apart. He couldn't keep her, he knew it, a few more days she would die, hating him. Draco shivered but quickly regained his composure when he noticed Hermione looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

'Are all Sytherins this odd?' she murmured under her breath and carried on walking.

Potions passed uneventfully, Harry appeared again looking slightly flushed, Hermione asked no questions just smiled when he took his seat beside her. Once class was dismissed and they had left the room Hermione reached for Harry's hand.

'Sorry Hermione' Harry said quickly, 'I need to go do something'

'What? Where are you going?' Hermione was slightly hurt, she had hardly seen Harry lately and while the spark that was once there had gone she still considered him her best friend.

'I er need to go and see Dumbledoor' He stammered

'Is everything ok? Is it your scar?'

'Yeah something like that, look I have to go, see later' and with that he had disappeared.

Draco watched Hermione frown staring after Harry. Harry didn't deserve her, she needed someone that would really loved her, that would give their life for her that would do anything for her. Draco gave a painful laugh when he realised that compared to him Harry was a saint.

He looked around and on realising that they were alone decided to approach Hermione.

'Where did wonderboy run off to then?'

Hermione shook herself out of her daze, 'huh? What? Oh I don't know. What's it to you anyway?'

'Nothing' Draco smirked, 'can see it's going really well for you two'

'Don't take the piss Malfoy'

'Would I do such a thing?' He asked in mock surprise

'Erm, yes. Look Malfoy I know you two aren't exactly friends but it-'

'What you on about?' Draco interrupted 'Best buddies me and him, pals, mates, bum chu-'

'Oh shut up Malfoy why can't you have a decent conversation with anyone'

'I can' he replied cockily, 'maybe it's just you'

Hermione opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it, instead she just rolled her eyes and started to walk away.

'Hey where you going?' Draco grabbed her arm.

I was like an electric shock, starting at her arm and working its way up, making her heart twist and sending shivers down her spine. She let him pull her closer.

Draco's heart was thumping in his chest, he let go of her arm and put his hands firmly on her waist, he stood closer, towering over her. Hermione just stood there dumbly staring up at him wondering what he would do next.

He leaned down and kissed her ever so softly, caressing her lips, daring her to kiss him back.

For a moment Hermione was in a strange dreamland, she kissed him back, as slowly and as softly that he was kissing her. She timidly put a hand on his shoulder, all thoughts of Harry were out of the window, all she wanted was Draco.

Draco deepened the kiss and pulled her closer for a moment Hermione let him but then pushed him away.

'What are we doing?' she asked, trying to hide her trembling hands.

For once Draco was out of smart replies. He hoped his smirk looked as convincing as he wanted it to. He could feel his insides being torn and thrown around he wanted to cry, he had kissed her it had happened. Sadness filled his every bone, he so didn't want to hurt her.

'I have a boyfriend!' Hermione almost yelled 'you have no right to kiss me'

'Um well you were kissing me back' he stammered

Hermione stormed off, not wanting to follow her Draco wandered off in the opposite direction.

Draco was torn, half of him was proud of himself for taking a huge step in helping capture Hermione but the other half was devastated at the thought that he was completely betraying her trust and this would end up hurting them both horribly.

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	5. Four Days 'til christmas part 2

Four days 'til Christmas part 2

Draco turned a corner, he was taking the long way back to his room hoping that he would take long enough to miss Hermione. He really couldn't take another shouting match, not tonight. Besides he needed to get this done and the only way he was going to be able to do it was if Hermione didn't hate him.

He was going to give her time to cool off. His father would be pleased, although she wasn't exactly talking to him right now he had kissed her and she had returned the kiss, it didn't exactly last long but it was enough for Draco to realise that she had feelings for him.

He smiled, he hadn't actually done anything all he had been was himself. He now had just three days to gain her trust and then he would be able to break her.

His heart somersaulted in his chest and his eyes began to sting, everyday he was spending with her made everything harder. He had always loved her but being around her more, having an excuse to be with her – it was going to be a long week.

Draco was snapped out of his daze when he heard a small noise, he frowned and peered round the corner. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open.

Harry Potter – wonder boy, leader of the golden trio, the boy who lived, Hermione's fucking boyfriend was stood there, sticking his tongue down some random girl's mouth.

Draco was furious, his cheeks turned red and he clenched his fists. Poor Hermione, suddenly the anger went and his veins were filled with sadness. Draco didn't think she loved Harry but if she did this would break her heart. He wanted to kill Harry but more than that he wanted to go and hug Hermione.

He ran as fast as he could to get to Hermione.

Hermione was sat in the common room reading. Her hair was golden brown and falling around her shoulders and her face was glowing in the firelight.

'Hey' he said as casually as he could. Hermione looked as though she might have a go at him but instead smiled.

'Hello' she said quietly. Her heart was racing, all she could think about was the kiss. She felt stupid, she knew it could never mean anything to him, he just wanted to get back at Harry. Over the past few days she had been seeing his good side again. She couldn't deny that she was developing feelings for him. She just hoped that soon they would go.

'Look, Hermione' Draco looked at her nervously, 'I think there is something you should know'

Hermione looked up at him with expecting eyes, 'Yes?'

'Harry is cheating on you'

Hermione looked away and stared hard at the floor. For a moment Draco thought she might cry until she lifted her head, her face tear free but very very angry.

'You are _unbelievable_,' she yelled 'for God's sake Draco how far are you going to take this? Do you honestly think I don't know what your up to? I know you can't stand Harry but this is ridiculous. What makes you think I'm going to believe you? I have known Harry for years and he's a decent guy, he would never do anything like that to me. Where did you get the idea that I would believe a scumbag like you over my best friend?'

Draco was taken aback, he knew she wouldn't take the new well but he never thought that she wouldn't believe him. Hermione stormed off and went straight to bed leaving Draco hurt and confused.

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I know this one was short but I just needed to get it done, I'l update really soon, sooner if you guys review – it really motivates me wen I no som1 is reading this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	6. Three Days 'til christmas

Three days until Christmas.

'Nuureeghh uh wah? Gerroff'

'Draco'

'nopsminangletime, yesh ham preeze'

'DRACO!'

The covers were ripped off Draco's body forcing him to sit up with a start, feeling slightly light headed he looked over to the side of his bed to see his father looking at him with a mix of curiosity and distaste on his face. Draco's eyes widened in horror as he quickly tried to regain some form of dignity.

'Sleep well boy?' Lucius Malfoy said looking at his rather embarrassed son.

'um hmm yes hi, good morning father'

Draco rubbed his eyes and looked at his father quizzically, now awake enough to wonder what on earth he was doing here.

Five minutes later Draco was dressed and ready to talk.

'How's it going?' Mr Malfoy asked

Draco shrugged, 'it's ok I guess, I mean we don't have any lessons at the moment so there's no stress or anything, it's a bit annoying the way everyone in Hogwarts seems to be ridiculously excited with Christm..'

'Not that you idiot' Said Lucius hotly, 'how is it going with the mudblood? Have you got her under your thumb yet or is she still besotted with that bloody Potter?'

'Don't worry father it looks like Potter will be out of the picture pretty soon anyway' Draco didn't see the need to mention the fact that he had had no input in to sorting that particular problem out.

'What about her? You need her to trust you or this will never work, you need to gain her trust and then hurt her in the worst way you can possibly think of'

'I'm working on it Father' and to Draco's dismay he realised that this wouldn't be so hard. Hermione was about to lose Harry and Draco had a strong feeling that she would come to him, the argued and fought but he could see in her eyes sometimes. He saw something that was definitely not hatred, almost fondness and maybe even love. At that moment Draco tried, and very nearly succeeded, to turn his heart to stone, to forget his love for the girl he was destined to have killed. A stone heart, he thought, would not easily break.

-

Hermione woke herself up with a sneeze, 'stupid feather pillows' She muttered quietly to herself, she had always hated the idea of feather pillows it made her feel like she was resting her head on a chicken for the night. Hermione's little face screwed up when she remembered last night, he had been lying, he must have been, her relationship with Harry probably isn't fantastic but he was her best friend and she was so sure he would never do anything like that to her.

The morning went uneventfully Hermione hadn't felt like joining in the huge snowball fight that had developed outside. She spent some of it with Harry who seemed a little distant and cold but Hermione was used to that kind of thing now. In fact nothing had happened until she had entered the great hall for dinner only to rush straight out again. Nearly knocking over a confused Draco she legged it as fast as she could to her room, hearing footsteps behind her all the way.

Hermione leaped through the portrait door well aware that Draco was on her tail and made her way to her room.

'Hermione,' Draco said softly, turning her around and trying to get her to look at him.

Hermione's cheeks burned with anger and humiliation, she couldn't look at him, not now, she'd breakdown. She opened her mouth to speak, expecting a croak but instead she yelled, it wasn't Draco's fault but he was here so he was going to get the screaming.

'The BASTARD' She half yelled half sobbed and wriggled in Draco's strong arms, 'why couldn't he _tell _me for God's sake. He's my best friend and he let me find out like THAT' Draco wasn't letting go, 'GET OFF ME' Hermione shouted.

'No' Draco said softly

'LET ME GO' Hermione screamed

'I can't' Draco wasn't going to let go

'Let me go, let me go let m…'

Hermione dissolved in to a fit of tears and fell on to Draco who immediately wrapped his arms around her and subconsciously started to stroke her hair.

'He was my best friend' Hermione said quietly, 'so what I wasn't in love with him, he was my best best friend'

Hermione lifted her head to look at Draco who wiped her tears away. Very slowly, she reached up to kiss him softly on the lips. Draco framed her face and looked down at her. He studied her face, her teary eyes, her full lips, her cute button nose, and shook his head gently,

'Who wouldn't want you?' He said before he could help himself 'Hermione I love you'

Hermione's heart was jumping around her chest as she reached up to kiss him again.

'Hermione I've always loved you'

'Draco I love you so much' Hermione only properly realising the words as she said them.

For that night Draco let himself forget. Forget that she was going to die, forget that he was killing her, forget that this was the very thing that would lead her to her death. For the first time in his life Draco let himself love so much it could kill him he let his heart break and melt at a single touch or look. He stopped trying to turn his heart to stone and let himself feel.

When Draco woke up the next morning he was numb, he looked down at Hermione fast asleep and instead of feeling a sharp stab in his heart, instead of the rush of love he had been overwhelmed with last night he just felt drained and while he was hurting and while he loved her with everything he had all he could feel was a gentle stab each time his heart beat. Draco knew at that moment that he was going to be able to go through with this, but that it would probably kill him.

Pweeze review sorry its been so long to get this done but ive been sooooooo bizzy lots of lurve…


	7. Two days 'til Christmas

Two days til Christmas

Hermione woke up to find herself wrapped in Draco Malfoy's arms, smiling, she leant down to kiss him on the nose. Draco creased his nose and his eyes fluttered open, he smiled warmly at her, 'morning beautiful' he said sweetly Hermione grinned at him and snuggled back down with him.

Draco stroked her hair and the heart he thought he lost that night started to beat uncontrollably. He had woken up and felt like he could handle this, thought that he could separate his feelings from himself but now he knew he was wrong. At that moment he found he didn't want to numb his heart he just, even if it was only for a few days, wanted to let himself love her and let her love him. It couldn't make it worse, he thought, this would just be him getting the chance to be with her properly before he had to say goodbye.

Suddenly he got up pulling Hermione with him

'Come on you' he said

'What are you doing I was comfy!' Hermione whined

'Get dressed, you and me are going to Hogsmade'

Hermione felt like she could burst with happiness, last night she had felt like it was the end of the world and this morning she felt happier than she had ever felt before. Last night had been amazing, a few days ago if you had told her she would be losing her virginity to Draco Malfoy she would have laughed in your face. The thing was that she didn't feel shocked by it at all; it had felt so natural like it was supposed to happen, like she'd known it all along.

Hermione looked around, marvelling at the mounds of white snow, a path had been dug in the snow to allow students to visit Hogsmade. She cast an eye down to her hand, her own small one encased in Draco's large hand. She couldn't quite believe that he was holding her hand in public but she wasn't about to complain.

Neither hid their grins as the approached Hogsmade they could see that the magical shopping village was a million times more magical when it was coated with snow, they headed in to the Hog's Head to warm themselves up.

Hermione sat as Draco went to get two big mugs of butterbeer, she watched his broad shoulders as he bent down to talk to the bar staff and couldn't quite believe that he was hers.

Draco returned smirking at Hermione's dazed expression, he snuggled up beside her and waved a playful hand in front of her eyes.

Hermione shook her head and smiled gratefully at Draco as he handed her the mug.

'I never knew you could sleep with your eyes closed' Draco joked, 'amazing'

Hermione gave him a quick kiss to shut him up Draco instantly forgot that he was laughing at her and smiled fondly at the girl in his arms.

The couple finished their drinks and turned to each other wondering what to do next. Hermione leaned forward on to the table and tapped her lips with her index finger.

'Hmmm' She said with a grin on her face, ' we could go and buy me lots of presents and you can pay, that sounds fun'

Draco simply shrugged his shoulders and nodded,

'Sounds good, I wanted to get you something for Christmas anyway'

Hermione looked at him and frowned, 'I was only joking you fool! And you don't have to get me anything, its not like we've been going out for very long'

'I know,' Draco said getting up and pulling her up with him, 'but I want to make up for being such a wanker for the last few years and I'm going to start with buying you lots of stuff'

Hermione opened her mouth to protest but was quickly silenced by Draco's lips, 'you're not having your way this time Mione, now what shall we start with?' Draco looked thoughtful and then his eyes lit up, 'I bet you haven't bought your ball dress yet have you?'

Hermione looked a bit baffled, 'Dress for what?'

Draco smirked, not like he used to, this time it was softer, kinder. 'You goon, the Christmas ball! Were you planning on going in jeans or something?'

If Hermione was anywhere else or with anyone else she would have blushed and felt completely stupid, but she was wasn't anywhere else. She was stood in the arms of the man she loved more than anything else in the whole world. She looked up at him and grinned,

'Come on' Draco said pulling her along the pavement.

Hermione had never been to this part of Hogsmade before; she supposed it was a bit out of her league. All of the shops looked incredibly expensive but very, very nice.

Hermione gazed in awe at the dazzling dresses in the pretty windows. Draco dragged her past all of the stunning little shops and stopped once he got to the end of the street. They were stood in front of a tiny little building with a battered green door and boarded up windows. Hermione gave Draco as if to say 'what on earth are we doing here?'

'All those other shops are overrated' Draco said, reading her mind, he held the door open and Hermione let herself be gently pushed in to the dark room.

Inside was worse than the outside. Hermione looked around, the wallpaper was peeling off the walls to reveal the old brickwork. At the back of the room was an old man writing on a piece of parchment and not looking up. The desk he was working on was old and battered, on it was a small candle that seemed to be trying to light the whole room and failing miserably.

Hermione started to miss the shops outside. Draco coughed pointedly, the frowning old man looked up and suddenly gave him a huge grin. As he got up off his chair Hermione realised that he was incredibly tiny, he walked towards the pair, his robes trailing along the floor. Draco shook the man's hand and bent down and whispered something in to his ear. The man looked delighted and Draco followed him back to his desk.

Hermione felt incredibly confused as the man and her boyfriend were talking in excited whispers, she was even more confused when Draco started sketching something.

After what felt like ages of watching the murmurs of agreement from the other side of the room the man finally looked up and acknowledged Hermione's existence. Now he was looking at her Hermione could see what twinkley eyes he had the old man smiled at her and turned to Draco.

'She's very pretty' the old man said, 'now, lets see what we can do'

Hermione started to feel concerned but that ended when the old man swished his wand and standing in front of her now was not an old man but a very young one, and a very gay one at that. He was dressed in robes of deep pink with purple hems and leopard print lining.

If this dramatic transformation had confused Hermione, then she was completely dumbstruck by what happened next. With a bang the walls of the room raced backwards and the ceiling zoomed upwards. Out of the floorboards unravelled a grand winding staircase and out of the back wall half way up, sprung a large balcony. From the bottom of the side wall a lilac carpet rushed out filling the floor and nearly flattening Hermione. From the ceiling a huge chandelier came down and filled the room with soft light and rolls of crème wallpaper fell down the walls and covered every inch of them.

Mirrors and beautifully dressed harlequins filled the room along with rails of fabrics all different colours, trays of sequins, buttons, cotton, corsages and pretty much everything else in the world!

Hermione just stood there dazed as the dressmaker started to measure her.

Woo this chap took me ages so sorry for the long time plz review lurve yoo x x x x x x x x


	8. One Day 'til Christmas

Hey guys um this chap is pretty darn sexual so if u don't like that kinda thing then don't read it

Also I haven't said this in a while so I think its about time to remind everybody that despite what you might think I don't own Harry Potter or any of the Characters, unfortunately, anyway enjoy and please review. x x

Christmas eve – 3 am

Somehow Draco was well aware of his father's presence well before he woke up. Draco calmly opened his eyes and sat up to greet the man in front of him. As Draco sat up Lucius caught a glimpse of the pretty brunette laying peacefully beside him, for a moment Lucius looked horrified, but when Draco gave him an evil smirk and winked, Lucius felt instantly proud.

The silently made their way down to the common room and Lucius turned to Draco,

'I have to admit' he said with a sneer, 'recently I've been having strong doubts about whether you were up to this, but it looks to me like you have it all under control. Tell me son, how did that girl end up in your bed?'

Draco grinned maliciously, 'lets just say the dark lord is going to be very happy with what I present him with'

Lucius shook his head in admiration, 'so what's happening then? You slept with her right?'

Draco's grin broadened

'She's in love with you isn't she?'

Draco was almost laughing now,

'You fucking genius!' His father was on his feet 'you managed to do the dark lords work and get your leg over at the same time!'

Draco sat down, 'I thought I'd give her the necklace as a Christmas present'

'Yes good idea, she cant really refuse that,' Said Lucius sitting with him

'If I give it to her just before the ball for her to wear that night then she wont try to take it off until we have her'

'Right' Lucius stood up 'I have to go Draco, it seems like you have it all under control anyway. Just remember, be here, with the mudblood, at twelve o'clock sharp'

With a pop Draco's father was gone, his pride seemed to have lessened the pain of what Draco was about to do. He still had two whole days with Hermione and he was not going to miss a second of it.

Hermione's eyes flickered open and she ran a hand over the other side of the bed only to find it was empty, she sat up slightly but lay back down when she heard the shower going. Hermione let her eyes shut as she remembered the day before.

It had been fantastic, Logan, as she later found out he was called, made her the most beautiful dress she could ever had hoped for. She couldn't wait for the ball when Draco would get to see her in it, Logan had insisted that Draco was not to see her in it.

She had then demanded that she buy Draco a Christmas present even though she couldn't hope to compare to what Draco had spent. That night they had walked back hand in hand and snuggled straight in to bed.

Draco hadn't asked her for anything, she was still a bit shell shocked from the other night but he had been so lovely about it.

Thinking about it made her miss him, she got out of bed and without knocking walked in to the bathroom, pulled off her night dress and stepped in to the shower.

Draco jumped slightly as she cuddled up next to his wet body.

Wordlessly, he looked down at her smiling and took her drenched figure in his arms.

He pushed her dripping hair out of her eyes and Hermione let out a small moan as he gently caressed her lips with his.

Hermione's moan was lightly echoed by Draco's as the feel of Hermione's hands all over his body got too much for him.

Very carefully he lifted Hermione up out of the bath and walked with her in his arms to the bed he lay her down and paused to look at her.

She looked so perfect, her hair was sprawled out on the bed, her full chest was heaving with every breath she took, her body was shining with moisture and her eyes were bright and glistening with lust.

Draco traced his fingertip over her face, starting at her brow and trailing down her cheekbone,

her neck

her breast

her ribs

her navel

Her…

She arched her back in pleasure and whimpered softly. Draco removed his finger and replaced it with something a lot more substantial.

Hermione gasped as he entered her, as he gently probed she closed her eyes and breathed noisily.

Draco held her closer and pressed the rest of him in to her, Hermione tried desperately not to scream but failed miserably. She moved under him, thrusting her hips towards him.

After a while Hermione started to feel weak and her breath kept catching in her lungs, she curled her toes as a sensation, that started between her legs and spread rapidly, took over her whole body.

Draco's breath grew shorter and he too moaned in orgasm.

Later, Hermione and Draco lay together, not asleep, just lying.

Hermione sighed with complete and utter satisfaction and snuggled closer to Draco,

They would be going nowhere that day.

Hey hoped you liked it please review even if you hated it, I know this chap didn't really take us anywhere but I had some built up smut that needed to be let out! Luv u x x x x


	9. Merry Christmas Hermione

Christmas Day

6:15am

Draco was the first to wake, he couldn't quite believe it was today, for the past couple of days he was able to kid himself that it wasn't real. Now he couldn't.

He looked down at the girl curled up in his arms.

'Hermione' He whispered

Hermione didn't move. Draco paused for a moment to watch the graceful rise and fall of her chest. He let himself lower his head to smell her hair and trace his fingers over her face. She looked like a perfect little doll with her rosy cheeks and glossy curls. Draco wrapped her in his arms and hugged her tightly, at least for now, he was going to keep her safe. Draco watched her arms automatically fold around him and silently wept.

7:30am

Hermione's nose twitched, her fingers stretched and her whole body started to wriggle in Draco's arms. Her eyes flew open and locked with Draco's, then very slowly the corners of her mouth crept up and her eyes started to twinkle, she let out a child like giggle and jumped out of Draco's arms to leap up and down on the bed squealing and laughing.

After giving Draco a kiss on the mouth she skipped in to the bathroom singing Christmas carols.

8:00am

Hermione ran in to her bedroom and came back with a sack of presents, Draco was sat on his bed and had already emptied his sack and he was looking at his gifts wishing he cared what was underneath the wrapping. Hermione ran back in and dumped her sack by Draco's pile and went to snuggle beside him.

8:30am

The couple sat back to admire their presents, Hermione was reading the blurb of a book she received when Draco turned to her, took the book out of her hands and moved her face to look at him. Hermione frowned at the serious expression on Draco's face.

'Will you promise me something?' Draco asked

'Depends what it is' Hermione said playfully

'I'm being serious' Hermione was tempted to mock the stern tone to Draco's voice but something told her not to.

'Promise me, no matter what happens. Never ever forget how much I love you' Draco couldn't hide the desperate tone to his voice.

Hermione simply nodded and, confused, let him hold her.

9:30am

The Great hall looked amazing. Tinsel and trees were placed tastefully round the room and the whole hall was a bubble of excitement, everybody, students and teachers had huge grins plastered on their faces and even the Slytherins and Griffindors were being civil.

There was one person that was not smiling. Draco Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table gazing in to space, occasionally coming out of his daze to smile at a concerned looking Hermione.

Hermione was sat in between Ron and Ginny, she had greeted Harry and was being civil, it was Christmas after all.

Breakfast was full of excited chatter about presents, the Christmas ball later on and the fantastic food that was on the table.

Dumbledoor gave a merry Christmas speech and told them that they were free to enjoy their day until five o'clock when the ball would begin. Each house would be receiving party packs and buffets at one o'clock in their common rooms and students were free to go in to each other's common rooms.

12:00

Draco stared at the silver lake, the school grounds were deserted, it was far too cold to be outside but Draco couldn't feel it. The floor was a thick sheet of white snow, the trees looked like they had been coated in icing. Draco breathed deeply, trying desperately to keep himself together, he knew that if he let himself go now he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

Draco felt a warm hand on his shoulder, he smiled feeling Hermione's warm breath on his neck as she kissed him softly.

'Hey' She said sitting next to him and shivering, 'what are you doing out here its freezing?'

'I just, I don't know, I just needed to think' Hermione looked worried

'Everything's ok with us isn't it Draco?'

Draco looked at her, cupped her face with his hands and kissed her so passionately Hermione felt like she was about to pass out.

'Of course it is' Draco said with such sincerity that he almost believed it himself.

Hermione smiled fondly at him and got out her wand, she conjured up a small fire in front of where they were sitting and a warm blanket to wrap around themselves. The couple snuggled up together and warmed up by the fire, they sat like that for a good three hours before the sun that had been dark all day disappeared completely. Hand in hand they walked back up to the castle.

4:00pm

Hermione stood in her own room staring at the gown hanging off her wardrobe. Her dress was so beautiful, it was a deep purple, almost black, with black net underneath, neckline was a heart shape, lined with tiny black frill, the back plunged down and stopped at the bottom of her back.

Hermione looked outside and gave a shiver, it was pitch black outside and all she could see was the snow spiralling and twirling around in the air catching in the moonlight.

She wrapped her towel tighter around her body and went to sit at her dresser. Slowly, she inspected her face, she had been lucky, there were no blemishes to speak of and being in love had given her a natural glow that she would never be able to fake.

She whispered a drying spell on her golden brown hair and her locks instantly fell from the clip at the back of her head and fell about her shoulders in lose ringlets.

5:15pm

After what seemed like hours and hours of getting ready Hermione finally stood in front of the mirror complete. Her make up was natural with a small hint of eyeliner on her top eyelids that made her eyes look huge. Her hair was up in a bun with soft curls falling from it and wisps of hair naturally framing her face. Her dress fitted perfectly, it flattered her wonderfully, Hermione was admiring her self for one last minute when she heard a gentle knocking at her door, it was Draco.

He tried not to choke on his words as he saw her, all the prepping himself he had done to make this slightly easier had gone out of the window, all he could do was stare at the angel in front of him.

'Good evening Mr Malfoy' Hermione smiled

'Good evening to you too Miss Granger' Hermione giggled as Draco bowed.

'Hmmm' he said critically walking around her and looking at her

Hermione got instantly self-conscious and worried, 'what? Do you not like it?'

'Something seems to be missing' Draco grinned as he pulled out a crème box from him pocket. 'I got you something'

Hermione stepped closer to Draco as he opened the box, she peered in and gasped with pleasure.

It was stunning, on a delicate silver chain was a beautiful pendant with diamonds that glistened in the light.

Hermione smiled as Draco gently put the necklace around her neck and kissed the back of it once it was fastened.

Draco smiled proudly at her, 'come on, we can't be late' Draco said taking her hand and leading her out of her room.

'By the way' Draco whispered before they entered the great hall, 'you look amazing tonight'

11:30pm

Hermione had the best night of her life, her smile never once left her face. With every second that passed Draco became more and more devastated, looking at her was killing him, her perfect smile that wouldn't go away was making his insides burn. And worse of all was the necklace, he wondered how it could look so beautiful on her when it represented such evil.

Hermione felt a familiar hand on the small of her back, she looked up and smiled at her lover.

'Come on' He whispered softly in to her ear, 'I want to you to myself now'

Hermione willingly followed him up to their room, giggling and chatting away, if she had not been so bubbly and happy about the ball then she might have noticed the darkness to Draco's eyes and the fact that he was shaking like a leaf.

11:40pm

Draco looked down at the girl that stood before him.

'Draco are you ok?' Hermione stroked his face with her hand, 'you look awfully peaky'

Draco wrapped his finger around hers and pulled her in to a hug, ' I'm fine, don't worry about me I'm just a bit sleepy.'

He stepped out of her arms and took her upstairs to his room.

11:50

Somehow Draco pulled himself away from Hermione's soft lips to look at the clock.

Ten minutes left.

He went back to kissing her but couldn't help but to hear the constant ticking of the clock.

11:55

He picked her up off the bed and stood holding her as tight as he could without hurting her.

Silently he prayed.

If he could just love her enough,

Hold her tight enough,

He could keep her from harm.

11:57

'Hermione' Draco said softly, 'I love you so much'

'I love you too' She looked up at him and kissed him lightly on the mouth, breaking his heart.

11:59

Tick, tick, tick

Draco was sure the clock was getting louder.

Tick, tick, tick

Shut up shut up shut up he thought desperately.

Tick, tick, tick

He looked down at her.

Tick, tick, tick

Her perfect hair.

Tick, tick, tick

She looked up at him and smiled lovingly

Tick, tick, tick

He looked at her face, savouring every bit of it,

Tick, tick, tick

Her eyes.

Tick, tick, tick

Her nose

Tick, tick, tick

Her mouth

Tick, tick, tick

Her jaw

Tick, tick, tick

Draco felt sick

Tick, tick, tick

Time was running out

Tick, tick, tick

He was losing her

Tick, tick, tick

There was nothing he could do now

Tick, tick, tick

It was over

Tick, tick, tick

'Hermione?'

Tick, tick, tick

'Yeah?'

Tick, tick, tick

'Don't forget'

Tick, tick, tick

'You promised to never forget'

Tick,

'Don't ever forget'

Tick.

'No matter what'

Tick

…

The lights went out and the room went black.

Draco could only just see the frown on Hermione's face.

Look away goddamnit Draco look away 

A cold rush of wind flew in to the room and Hermione looked at Draco inquisitively

_Draco look at the floor, look away Draco, don't look at her._

He couldn't take his eyes of her face. She knew, of course she knew. Hermione frowned accusingly, and all he could do was nod.

'Draco what's happening?'

'I'm so sorry Hermione'

Hermione felt her heart cave in.

As death eaters filled the room she fell to her knees.

Throwing away his broken heart, Draco smiled at his father as he walked towards them.

'Good evening father'

'Well done son'

A cliffhanger? Now why in the world would I do that? Hmm maybe its so that you lot will review?

Haha I am so cruel

Review and I promise it wont be long…


	10. Fernwood Castle

Fernwood Castle

Hermione tried not to yelp with pain as she was flung in to a cold dark room, her head bashed against a hard wall and her knee scraped against the floor.

She heard a few muffled words being exchanged and then she was left alone, with the door right open.

Hermione looked around confused, slowly she got up. Looking round she carefully walked towards the open window, there was nobody guarding it she could easily escape. But before she could move any closer to it she felt a strong tugging at her neck, she looked down to see the necklace Draco had given her pulling her back to the middle of the room.

The moved her hands to take it off but all she got was a searing pain in her hands. She gave up and sat down, looking at the chain around her neck.

'_Good evening Mr Malfoy' Hermione smiled_

'_Good evening to you too Miss Granger' Hermione giggled as Draco bowed._

'_Hmmm' he said critically walking around her and looking at her_

_Hermione got instantly self-conscious and worried, 'what? Do you not like it?'_

'_Something seems to be missing' Draco grinned as he pulled out a crème box from him pocket. 'I got you something'_

_Hermione stepped closer to Draco as he opened the box, she peered in and gasped with pleasure._

She had been such a fool, she had been so easy to trick.

She let her head fall and shut her eyes tight with frustration, she hadn't cried yet, she was still in shock, she thought that any moment now she would wake up in his bed and see him smiling at her.

Hermione lay down on the hard floor and let her self fall in to a dreamless sleep.

Draco Malfoy and five other men were sat in the castle's living room. The other five were talking animatedly about what to do with the girl and Draco was sat there with a look of frustration and confusion on his face.

'When are you going to let me in on this and tell me what the hell is going on?' He demanded sitting up straight.

The others laughed and mimicked him but then ignored him again. Draco sat back in anger.

Helena Higgledy sat with a look of annoyance on her face. She was a middle aged blonde woman who looked as though she would have been pretty if it weren't for the scowl that never left her face. Her sharp thin features made it look like it was impossible for her to smile.

'Lucius, while your son is sulking do you think it would be at all possible to decide what on earth we are going to do with the girl?'

Periom, a serious looking man with jet-black hair nodded in agreement.

'She's right, its taking a lot longer than we anticipated, now that we've got the girl, what are we going to do with her?'

'We will just have to keep her here' Lucius said determinedly

'But this could take months!' Goyle said angrily

'Lucius is right, we can hardly let her go now can we, the castle is a safe place to keep her' Snape said calmly

'But what about when people start to realise she's gone? It might me months before we're ready' Periom said desperately to Snape

'She will stay here in the castle, she will not be able to escape alone' Lucius interjected

'What about her friends, the school, people will come looking for her.' Questioned Helena

'Helena, write a note to Dumbledoor saying something along the lines that Draco and Hermione have run away together and not to go looking for them. Sign it from Hermione and find an owl to send it.' Lucius ordered and Helena nodded 'Now' He added and she scurried away.

'As for the girl' Lucius continued, 'we can keep her here but not in that empty room, we don't know how long she will be here and we definitely don't want her going insane. Draco, it will be your job to make sure she is kept healthy; I want to make sure she is fed properly and is kept in good condition ready for the Dark Lord.'

'Yes Father' Draco said distractedly

'Take her up to one of the main bedrooms for now, I advise you put her in a room close to your own, you don't want to be traipsing around the castle all day.'

Draco left the room and walked up the stairs that led to the room Hermione was in. On his way he tried to work out how he would feel seeing her again, only a few hours had passed but it felt like a lifetime.

Hermione jumped as she opened her eyes, in the doorway stood a dark figure; looking more closely she saw it was Draco. Instinctively she shuffled back away from him so her back was flat against the wall.

Hermione's quick actions sent a flash of pain through Draco's heart, it was as if for the first time, Draco was realising that he was the baddie.

'I'm not going to hurt you' Draco said stonily

'It's a bit late for that don't you think?' Hermione said sadly.

Draco shook his head

_Don't do this to me_ he thought desperately _be angry, scream and kick, tell me I'm a bastard. Just don't look at me like that._

Draco tried to tear his eyes away from Hermione's there wasn't a hint of fury or malice, just disappointment and hurt.

Draco coughed as he tried to regain his composure.

'I'm taking you to a more comfortable room, you might be here quite a while'

As Hermione got up Draco tried not to look at the cut to the left of her forehead that was bleeding heavily. It was only then that Draco realised she was still in her dress. It was ripped in a lot of places. Showing her grazed knee and her bruised stomach. Hermione followed Draco out of the room and through the corridors without making a sound.

'Here' Draco said as he opened the door to her new room. In any other situation Hermione would have been delighted with the place. It was a huge room that was beautifully decorated. In the middle stood a luxurious looking four poster bed with shiny satin sheets and shimmery drapes hanging from the posts.

Hermione nodded, unable to speak. Draco looked at her cut, sat her on the bed and went in to the bathroom.

He returned with a bowl of hot water, some flannels and a bandage.

Draco knelt carefully in front of her, 'We don't want this to get infected' Hermione wasn't fooled by the offhand tone in his voice or the uncaring expression on his face. She could tell by his eyes that he was hurting.

Draco leant down to dip the towel in the water, Hermione flinched as he stroked the cut with the hot towel. As he worked Hermione couldn't take her eyes off him.

She wanted so badly to hate him, to blame him for what had happened, to yell at him to hurt him like he was hurting her. But as he traced a gentle finger around her newly bandaged wound all she could do was stare at him and wish he would just hold her.

When he was done he moved slightly away from her, but he kept his hand on her face and looked at her for what seemed like eternity.

Hermione just sat there, he whole body numb except for where her cheek was on fire under his hand.

_Don't cry _she thought to herself _don't let him see how much he's hurting you._

Draco opened his mouth as though he was about to speak but Hermione cut him off immediately.

'Just leave' she begged 'please don't look at me, don't touch me _please_'

Draco got up and left quickly, but not quick enough for them not to see the tears in each other's eyes.

'I'll bring you some food up in a while' Draco said from outside the door.

Hermione had never felt less hungry in her life.

-

oh the sadness of it all!

Thanks for all of you that reviewed hope you liked this one

By the way – I'm being deliberately unclear about what Hermione is needed for cause I figured if Draco and Hermione don't know, why should I tell you guys!

You reading + reviewing me updating

Wooooo im a bit of a maths wiz see!

Or not

x


	11. Keeping a Promise

Hey guys thanks to those that reviewed, sorry about the wait, hope you enjoy x

When Draco returned a few hours later, Hermione was sat in the exact same place as he had left her.

She didn't move or acknowledge him as he entered the room with a plate of food. She just carried on staring at the opposite wall.

'I got you some food' Draco said loudly, trying to wake her from her daze. She didn't respond, she just kept gazing in to space.

'Granger! Are you deaf? I said I have some lunch for you' Draco yelled, finding that anger was a good way of hiding his sadness

'I'm not deaf' She said calmly 'I'm just not hungry at the moment'

'You have to eat'

'Says who?' Hermione turned around angrily

Draco looked at her helplessly

'You can't make me eat, now leave me alone'

Draco sighed and his shoulders sagged.

'Hermione please' He said softly

The softness in his voice startled Hermione and she looked at him properly. He looked exactly how she was feeling. 'You're not making this any easier you know'

'You want me to make this easy on you?' Hermione asked slowly, her voice was full of anger. 'Have you completely forgotten what you just pulled?'

'Oh for God's sake get over it' Draco said cruelly, even though it killed him. 'I didn't _ask _you to fall in love with me, you did that all on your own'

'Don't give me that bull' Hermione said, tears welling up in her eyes, 'I suppose I made you fall in love with me as well did I?'

'For a someone that's supposed to be smartest in the year you're really not that bright' Draco sneered, 'I was never in love with you Mudblood, it was an act you idiot.'

'Bollocks' Hermione screamed, 'you loved me as much as I loved you, you still do and you don't have a hope in hell of pretending that you don't'

Draco was stunned, how the fuck could he put her through all of that and her still believe that he loved her he wondered.

Hermione just sat there waiting for some kind of a response.

'Get this in to your stupid little head Granger' Draco was startled at how malicious his voice sounded, 'I'm not in love with you, I have never been in love with you and I will never be in love with you. _Get it?'_

Hermione simply looked blankly at him.

'That would have been so much more effective if you weren't crying'

Draco hadn't realised the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, quickly he wiped them away mumbling something about hay fever even though it was December.

'You're scum of the earth Malfoy' Hermione yelled after him as he walked briskly out of the room 'but I'll never love you less for it' She added sadly.

Helena and Lucius jumped slightly as Draco threw the door to the living room open with rage.

'What the…'

'She won't fucking eat the fucking food' Draco bellowed at his father

'She'll eat' Lucius said calmly 'It may take a while but trust me son, she will eat'

Draco looked sceptically at his father

'Don't look at me like that boy, there are a lot of things you don't know'

'Only because you're keeping them from me! She wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me, I deserve to know'

'You will' His father said quietly 'but until then you just have to trust the rest of us. Try and make her wash, nothing will clean her blood but we certainly don't want her smelling like a tramp, even if it is in her heritage'

Draco tried not to flinch as his father bitched about Hermione so openly. He knew he had no right to be mad, it was of course him that got her here, he was the one that lead her to her capture. He was worse than any of the Death Eaters here because although they had done so many worse things, none of them had actually loved the person they were doing it to.

Ashamed of himself, Draco walked back up the stairs, wishing that he could be someone else, wishing that he could save her.

Hermione looked at the plate of food Draco had left for her, she was starving but if they wanted her to eat then they were going to have to force it down her throat. She got up to move away from it but a gentle tugging at her neck lead her to sit right in front of it. The plate was clean in thirty seconds.

Hermione looked at the necklace that lay gracefully on her chest, _this _she thought bitterly _could get a little annoying._

At that moment Draco walked through the door scowling,

'What's wrong diddums?' Hermione asked sarcastically, 'Daddy not letting you have the dark mark?'

'I see your hunger got the better of you then' Draco smirked

Hermione fell silent as she looked at her plate feeling incredibly embarrassed.

'Its that bloody necklace, great gift by the way, thanks'

'Drop the sarcasm Granger' Draco said angrily 'It doesn't do anything for you. What exactly does the necklace do?'

Hermione laughed bitterly, 'They didn't tell you? Ha you were a loser at school and you're a loser here as well'

'You seemed to fall for me anyway' Draco said grim-faced

Draco was ready for a sharp comeback, maybe denial but Hermione just nodded unhappily

'Yeah' she said quietly 'S'pose I did.'

Draco coughed nervously, trying to avoid her eyes. What could he say to that? He desperately wanted to tease her, laugh at her, make some cruel remark but he couldn't. All he could do was stare at the floor in complete silence.

'My father's ordered me to make you wash' He said eventually

'Shouldn't you wash too?' Hermione said resentfully 'I mean it will take more than a bath to get rid of the stench after fucking a mudblood'

_Fucking _Draco thought_ we never fucked, we made love, no one could ever describe it as fucking._

Hermione looked expectantly at Draco but he said nothing. Instead he gently pushed her in the direction of the bathroom. She could tell that what she had just said had affected him.

'I mean you must have been well chuffed with yourself huh?' Hermione said, wanting to push him 'Not only did you manage to lead me in to my own capture but you managed to get some dick action too!'

Hermione saw Draco's fist clench, she smiled inwardly knowing she was succeeding, she proceeded,

'Also the whole getting me to fall for you was quite nifty, I mean when your buddies came for me I was too heart broken to even fight back'

Draco wanted to scream at her, she was getting it all wrong yet all right.

'Shame you fell for me too wasn't it?' Hermione said finally

Draco turned to look at her,

'I didn't fall for you, it was an _act!_'

'Draco' She said seriously, 'you can say it, you can lock me up, you can beat me, hell you can kill me. But I will never stop believing that you loved me'

Draco opened his mouth to speak Hermione cut him off,

'Maybe you don't anymore, that's fine, just don't tell me that you didn't because I will never in a million years believe you.'

Draco looked taken aback

'I keep my promises Draco' She added quietly.

Draco's mind flashed back to Christmas day

'_Will you promise me something?' Draco asked_

'_Depends what it is' Hermione said playfully_

'_I'm being serious' Hermione was tempted to mock the stern tone to Draco's voice but something told her not to._

'_Promise me, no matter what happens. Never ever forget how much I love you' Draco couldn't hide the desperate tone to his voice._

_Hermione simply nodded and, confused, let him hold her._

Despite the miserable circumstances Draco felt a surge of happiness. He wanted to kiss her and tell her that she was right but he couldn't. So he just stood there and nodded in acceptance.

He left Hermione to have her shower and went in to the room next to hers to claim it as his own, acknowledging his father and Goyle on the way.

As Hermione stepped out of the shower she realised that she had nothing to wear, she could hardly wear her ball dress all the time, She was just about to shout Draco when she heard voices coming from outside her door, quietly she approached it.

'Draco is getting restless, not knowing what is going on is making him unbearable' one man said

'I know, I know, we'll tell him soon, but I worry that it will be too much for him' said the other

'Lucius' man said, 'it's not like he needs to be involved in the ceremony, telling him might make him be a little more inclined to help out'

'Yes Goyle but he's only young. The immensity of what we're doing might be too much for him, we're talking about killing the girl to bring back the Dark Lord, and also,' Lucius continued 'I think he might be in love with her.'

'He's not you y'know' Goyle said carefully

Before she could hear anymore Hermione stumbled back in terror. They were going to use her to bring back Voldemort. There was now way on earth she would let that happen.

Hermione sat on her bed and thought, suddenly a glint caught her eye. Lying by the empty plate was the steak knife. Slowly she walked towards it and picked it up.

She was going to die anyway she had heard them say it. Surely it was better to go now with dignity and not let Voldemort come back, than wait to be killed for Voldemort's return.

Slowly she moved the knife away from her chest and turned it to point straight at her. She closed her eyes tightly and with all her might she plunged the knife towards her heart.

oh no! looks like your going to have to review again

hope you enjoyed it, the next one wont be long, promise!

x


	12. And Breaking It

'HERMIONE' Draco cried and ran towards her.

Hermione staggered backwards, tears welling up in her eyes as she fell to the floor.

Draco knelt over her, trying not to look at the blood rushing out of her chest. Hermione started to feel faint and her eyes started to feel heavy.

'Hermione I'm so sorry.' Draco said, tears streaming down his face, 'you can't die! You just can't' He gently kissed the top of her head which was cradled in his hands.

'Draco I …' Hermione croaked but Draco cut her off.

'I'm so sorry, I love you so much'

Hermione felt her mind go foggy and she let her eyes close.

'Hermione no, no you can't do this, _please_' Draco was sobbing and he held her close to him.

She couldn't hear a thing. Hermione felt some of her energy come back so she wrapped an arm around him to steady herself and opened her eyes. Draco quickly moved away and they heard a small clink.

Hermione looked up to see Draco looking at her chest. She looked down, the Dressing Gown was drenched in blood, but the knife lay on the floor and on her chest, lay a small scar.

They looked at each other, Draco with relief, Hermione with frustration.

'Go away' Hermione flinched away from him and Draco smirked to hide how much it hurt.

'Did you not hear what I said?' Draco asked

'No dickhead I was too busy dying' Hermione said.

Draco paused, he thought about telling her all of the things he said, how he was sorry, how he loved her but he couldn't. it wouldn't make any difference, she would always hate him for what he did and he wouldn't blame her.

'I begged you not to die' Hermione looked up at him and Draco coughed.

'You're needed see. As much as I would like you to be dead and off my case, you're not a lot of use to us as a corpse' Draco said maliciously.

Hermione looked down and wondered what she was holding on to. Not believing him when he said he didn't love her wasn't doing her any favours, if he loved her he would have saved her by now or done something. She needed to let go, maybe he did love her but he certainly didn't anymore.

She looked up, straining to try and stop the tears. 'I get it' She said looking at him straight, 'I finally get it, you don't love me'

_No_ Draco thought desperately, _don't give up on me. You promised._

'Took you long enough' He said meanly but couldn't carry on

' I need some clothes' Hermione said changing the subject, 'I can hardly wear my dress and now this is ruined' Hermione gestured at the dressing gown.

'Look in the cupboard' Draco said. Hermione gasped as she saw all of her clothes stacked neatly in the cupboard. She took out a t-shirt, a denim skirt, her dolly shoes and some underwear and glared at Draco.

'Do you mind?' She said wanting some privacy. Draco just sat there and smirked,

'No I don't mind, go right ahead.' He said going to sit on the bed. Hermione let out an irritated sigh and stormed in to the bathroom.

Once she had changed she looked at herself in the mirror, she looked a state, her wet hair was all over the place and her face had never looked paler, her eyes were bloodshot and she realised she was exhausted. She looked under the sink and found all of her toiletries, she knew it didn't matter what she looked like, nobody was going to see her but it made her feel better.

After she had finished, cleansing, toning and moisturising she heard a loud bang and then a door slamming. She returned to see Draco sat on her bed scowling.

She frowned and looked over to what Draco was staring at, a wall had been knocked down and there was another room in its place.

The new room was much larger than hers it had a mini kitchen, a small dining area and a sitting area. Her room now looked like a small luxury flat. She looked back to Draco who was still scowling.

'Because of your little suicide expedition, I now have to monitor you twenty-four seven'

Hermione looked blankly at him. 'We have to _live _together?' She asked incredulously.

'Yup' Draco said miserably 'Live, sleep, eat, drink, everything together.'

'Fuck' Hermione said sitting on the end of the bed.

'Yeah' Draco replied.

They sat on the bed, not speaking or moving for a while until Draco's belly started to rumble. He looked at the clock, it was half past six pm already.

'Food?' Draco asked her

'Whatever' She said grumpily

'Look' He said spinning around 'I don't want to be here anymore than you do but we're stuck together so you might as well be civil.'

Hermione looked down at her hands and felt like a stupid little child, he had a point. She got up and walked with him to the kitchen.

'mmmm' Draco said looking in the freezer and pulling out a big bag of frozen chips and a bag of nuggets.

'_How_ _sophisticated' _Hermione said laughing a Draco's cheap choice of food.

Draco reddened a bit and looked away from her.

Hermione felt her heart lurch, he looked like a little boy _urgh _she thought angrily _why couldn't I have fallen in love with someone that wasn't so adorable, I will never get over that face._

After a moment, much to Hermione's relief, his face regained its arrogant smile.

Draco reached up to get plates and laid them out on the table, he then got the frozen chicken nuggets and chips and tipped them on to the two plates. Hermione watched in amusement as he sat down and tried to take a bite of the rock solid chip.

'What's wrong with these things?' Draco asked confusedly, trying to gnaw on a chicken nugget.

Hermione had to hold on to the counter to stop herself from falling over in laughter. Draco frowned and looked at her, 'they never taste like this at home'

'Draco' She asked in between giggles 'have you ever _cooked?_'

'What?' Draco said before spitting out a mouthful of chip 'bleurgh'

Hermione looked in the cupboards and brought out a tin tray, she took the plates off Draco and tipped their contents into the tray. She set the oven and put them in.

Draco looked at her in bewilderment 'what are you _doing?_' He asked staring at the cooker.

'Don't worry about it Malfoy, they should be ready in about twenty minutes.'

Draco looked mournfully at the empty space on the table in front of him then moved his gaze to the clock. Hermione poured them each a drink, passed one to Draco and then sat opposite him with her own.

There were a hundred things that she wanted to say to him and ask him, but being like this, not talking about what was really going on was so much easier than facing up to the truth. Hermione put head in her hands and started to think about her family, her friends. Surely they would come looking for her. And with Draco gone as well that must make her easier to find.

'DING!'

Draco jumped at the sound of the oven and Hermione got up to get the food.

After dinner Hermione made Draco clear away and changed in to her pyjamas in the bathroom. She returned to see Draco with his hands behind his head, laying on the bed and looking at her in nothing but his silk black boxers.

Hermione's heart buckled as she tried not to look at his suggestive smile.

'I think I'll sleep on the floor tonight' Hermione said walking past the bed.

'No' Draco got up and moved towards her 'Its December and this bloody castle has no heating, you can sleep in the bed – with me'

'If you think for one minute that I'm going to spend a n…'

'Hermione' Draco said, and the seriousness to his voice made her obey him.

Silently she walked to the bed and got in with him.

Draco tried to convince himself that he only wanted her there to keep him warm, but when she lay down beside him and he saw the curve of her waist and her golden skin through the gap in her pyjamas, he let himself remember what it was like to hold her.

That night, both thinking the other was asleep and, both pretending to be asleep themselves, they wrapped themselves around each other. Letting themselves feel what they had lost.

wooo ive done another one!

Hope you liked, please review


	13. Silently Spoken

Draco looked at her.

She looked so beautiful lying there, so innocent and perfect. He wanted her to stay like that forever. He wished he could wrap her up in bubble wrap and take her to a safe place.

He touched her rosy cheek; she looked so peaceful. Why couldn't he save her? He wondered, why couldn't he just pick her up and run out of the door?

Draco shook his head, it was hopeless, they needed her and he knew they would stop at nothing to get her back even if he did try to save her. He would be completely defenceless against them, there was no point trying to disobey them.

An icy breeze flew through the room and Hermione snuggled closer to him in her sleep. Draco lifted his arm to hold her and kissed her head gently sighing as she nuzzled closer in to his chest. He got the duvet and wrapped it tight around her to keep her warm.

He knew that as soon as she woke up he would have to go back to pretending not to care, at least for now, he could pretend she was still his.

'Albus!' McGonagle screeched, storming in to his office, 'I just received this' she said jerkily holing out a piece of parchment in her shaking hand.

Dumbledoor took the parchment and raised his eyebrows as he read it, 'I don't believe a word of it Albus, not a word' Minerva half sobbed, 'something's _happened_ I can feel it. Oh the poor girl.'

'Sit down Minerva' Dumbledoor gestured to the chair opposite and smiled calmly at the distraught woman. He got up out of his seat to get her a drink. On his desk lay the parchment…

Dear Professor McGonaggle 

_I am so sorry that I took off so quickly without telling anybody. _

_The truth is, I had to get away. I'm in love with Draco Malfoy; I couldn't stand thinking about the grief we would get from our peers for being together and how disappointed my friends would be. _

_We have ventured out to start a new life, where no one knows either of us. Please tell my family and friends that I am happy and in good health._

_May I also ask you not to come looking for me, it will only upset me and disrupt my new life. _

_Thank you, for all you have done for Draco, and me I will very much miss our Care Of Magical Creatures lessons with you._

_All the best _

_Hermiony Grainger._

'Ok' Dumbledoor sat back down after handing McGonagle her drink, 'so we can pretty much assume that that letter was by no means sent by Hermione, due to the miss spelling of her name, your name and the fact whoever wrote this has no idea what subject you teach.'

'Albus what are we going to _do?'_

He sat back in his chair and looked hopelessly at the wall.

Hermione woke up to feel Draco's arms around her, she turned around to see him fast asleep with his head snuggled up in her hair. She felt he heart twist in confusion.

The way he looked reminded her of when she fell in love with him, she still couldn't find it in her heart to hate him. Sje was hoping he would come back, she wanted all the stony looks and the smirks to just be a stupid defence mechanism, she wanted to be able to see him again, for him to stop hiding. Hermione managed to wriggle out of his arms and moved silently to the shower.

She returned to see Draco talking to a familiar man. He had the same light blond hair, sturdy build and piercing blue eyes as Draco. Hermione remembered him to be Draco's father.

'Ah, good morning mudblood' He said venomously 'sleep well I trust? You're probably not used to such luxuries'. Hermione didn't reply she just gazed silently at the floor.

'Look at me when I'm speaking to you girl!' Hermione jumped slightly at the bitterness in his tone, she readjusted her gaze to the window.

'You disgust me' Hermione said more boldly than she felt.

'Don't you ever talk to me like that again Granger' Lucius said dangerously

'Or what?' Hermione replied looking at him now 'you can't kill me, not yet anyway'

'No,' Lucius stared at her, Hermione didn't like the look in his eyes, 'not kill you, but I can teach you some discipline'

Draco's heart thudded against his chest; he stared at his father, silently begging him not to hurt her.

Without him having to say a word, two other men arrived, Goyle and Periom. Lucius smirked at them and then at Hermione. They seemed to understand and moved towards her.

Draco's body froze as the men approached Hermione, inside he was screaming at them to back off but he knew he couldn't say a word.

Hermione tried not to look afraid as the men towered over her, she didn't have to try for long because after a second one of the men had punched her hard in the stomach.

Draco opened his mouth but it made no sound.

Hermione cried in pain as she was thrown against a wall and slapped repeatedly.

Draco tried to make himself numb to the pain she was in but ever hit she received hurt him just as much as it did her.

He wanted to stop them but every bone in his body had stiffened, he just stood rigid with his eyes wide open in shock.

Hermione looked up at him through blurry eyes, begging him to help. Draco just stood there and watched helplessly as Periom took out a knife and slashed her across her chest from her neck to her navel.

'Enough,' Lucius said after what seemed like years for both of them, 'we don't want her dead. Not just yet' He added this with a small smile full of malice.

The three men left the room leaving Hermione and Draco alone. Hermione was still curled up in agony on the floor and Draco still stuck at the other side of the room, his body not allowing him to move.

'Enjoy that?' Hermione asked sadly

Draco felt a huge lump in his throat and felt his eyes well up. He simply shook his head staring at the floor.

'Must have been such a treat for you' She continued, 'I was surprised you didn't want to join in yourself'

Draco couldn't take it, he risked a glance at her. Her pyjamas were ruined and soaked with blood, her skin was covered in red stains and her eyes were still watering. She looked like a broken little doll.

He slowly walked over to her and was surprised that Hermione didn't even flinch. Carefully he wrapped his arms around her and carried her to the bathroom.

Hermione kept perfectly still and silent while he removed her pyjama bottoms, slipping them off her blood soaked legs, he gently touched the skin around a cut on her leg. Draco tried to keep the tears away but they overcame him and he lowered his head so she couldn't see.

Hermione gazed down at her bloody legs then at Draco. He was looking away so she couldn't see his face. She felt let down, some part of her had wished that when something like that were to happen Draco would storm in and save her, tell her he was sorry and that he loved her. But he had just stood there. Still. As she looked at his torn face, his shining eyes, the shaking of his hand she felt a glimmer of hope.

Draco looked back at her, God himself wouldn't have been able to read Draco's face so she stood no chance. He looked away again and leaned over her to turn the taps of the bath and put some bubble bath in.

It was then that Hermione realised she was half naked she wriggled self-consciously for a moment but stopped as soon as Draco turned back to look at her. He reached for her top and she let him pull it off. She didn't know why but she didn't care that she was completely naked in front of the person that had betrayed her in the worst possible way, she didn't even notice when she shivered from the cold.

Draco put a hand on her arm and rubbed it gently, and then with his other hand he moved the hair away from her eyes.

They both froze in that moment, not looking away, lost in each other's gaze.

_How could I do this to her? Look at her!_

Draco broke. His shoulders collapsed in to uncontrollable shakes and tears fell down his cheeks. He looked down at her and shook his head. He wanted to speak – to tell her how sorry he was but he couldn't.

Hermione looked at his distraught face, his regretting eyes.

There he is… 

They still hadn't spoken a word to each other, Draco wiped his eyes and looked at Hermione again, she smiled softly. He reached for her, she thought he was going to kiss her but he didn't he just lifted her up and placed her in the warm bath water.

Neither said a word as Draco kissed her forehead and caressed her healing wounds.

'Albus?' McGonagle said sharply, trying to wake the headmaster from his daze.

'Voldemort' McGonagle flinched as the name was said and trembled at what it implied

'What are we going to do?'

'Wait' The old man said simply, 'we wont find her until he tells us where they are'

'Who?' McGonagle was lost.

'Draco Malfoy'

'How do you know he is even with the child? How can you be so sure he will contact us? How can you risk Voldemort coming back?' Her voice was shrill and her hands were trembling.

'I can assure you Minerva' He said calmly, 'We will hear from him soon.'

Later on, when Hermione was out of the bath and the pair were tucked up in the bed Draco spoke to her for the first time that day. When he knew she was fast asleep he whispered in to her ear.

'I'm so sorry Hermione' His breath on her cheek made her stir slightly 'I'm going to save you, I swear'

Hmmm so the future is looking a bit brighter no? but don't get too excited I mean anything could go wrong here. Ha ha. well im sooo terribly sorry for the latness of this one – it took me forever. Hope you like it please review x x x


	14. The Only Thing

Hermione arched her back and wiped the fluid from her mouth. She got up and flushed the toilet; this was the second time in two days. She shook her head; _it's hardly surprising _she thought, _all that crap they feed me can't be good for me._

Draco shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, creasing up his forehead he regretfully realised it was morning; he was no longer asleep so he would have to think again.

It had been two days now since he decided to save Hermione but it was a lot harder than he thought. First of all, who to turn to for help, how to contact them without anyone knowing, how to contact them at all for that matter?

He glanced at the bathroom door, they hadn't spoken much the past few days. They had exchanged civil words and comments but nothing about the other night was said.

The door opened and Hermione stumbled out, her eyes were blood shot and she was as pale as a ghost. Draco offered her a smile but she didn't return it. She walked over to her wardrobe and started looking for something to wear, probably something warm Draco thought, the days were getting colder than ever and the strong gale outside was constantly coming in through the cracks in the windows. Draco jumped a bit when he heard Hermione gasp loudly and step away from the wardrobe.

Hermione felt a small warmth of happiness creep through her body as she reached for the book in front of her, it was a small, thick book covered in purple satin and tied together with a black ribbon. The pages were light purple, decorated with the neat loops and twirls of Hermione's neat, black handwriting. Her diary. It had been given to her as a present in her first year at Hogwarts, the book was enchanted to never fill up and she had written in it every single day since then.

'What's that?' Draco asked peering over.

'It's my diary, I keep in my underwear drawer to be safe and I guess it just came here with every thing else.'

Taking a closer look Draco recognised the book, he had often seen her scribbling in it in the common room. He had thought on a number of occasions it would be a very good read.

Hermione put her diary down and took a moment to consider what would be the warmest thing to wear and then disappeared in to the bathroom again to get dressed.

Draco watched her as she left the room and then sat in silence for a few moments fidgeting a bit. After a couple of seconds his eyes casually fell on the diary but he quickly pulled them away.

He shifted a little in his chair and tried to concentrate on the bed but once again his eyes wandered over to the book. Draco scratched his head, rubbed his thighs and fixed his gaze firmly on the ceiling.

After about two seconds he checked the door and strode quickly over to the diary, and sat down, hesitating slightly he untied the ribbon and read the very first page.

_Dear Diary_

_Today was my very first day at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I enjoyed the lessons immensely but the other children weren't very nice. I was hoping to make some friends but now I'm not too sure I will, maybe it's because I have funny teeth. Mum says I will grow in to them soon – I really hope I do because if they are stopping me from having frie- _

Draco dropped the diary and looked up guiltily at Hermione who had an unreadable expression on her face. Biting his lip nervously he got up to face her. He felt dreadful, he knew he shouldn't have done it and how personal a girls diary is to her.

'Hermione I'm so sorry' He said bowing his head.

Hermione frowned slightly, 'why are you so sorry?' She asked shaking her head

'I just read your diary, shouldn't you be fuming right now?' Draco said confused,

'I know you read my diary, why would that make me mad?'

Draco shook his head exasperatedly, 'It's so personal. It's all of your feelings your emotions, all of the big things that have happened to you, all of your dreams and fears, things that are so important to you and I was going to read it all!'

Hermione looked blankly at him for a while and then eventually spoke, 'Draco, what would be the point in not letting you see it?'

'Uh…' Draco was beyond confused

'you already know it all' Hermione said simply, 'Draco you're talking about some of the biggest things that happened in my life right?'

Draco nodded dumbly

'The times I have been most scared, most excited, happiest, saddest, most disappointed, most alone in my whole life?'

Again all he could do was nod

'You don't need to read my diary to find any of that out. You were there for all of that' Hermione paused squeezing her eyes to fight the tears, 'you inflicted most of it on me'

'Hermione-' Draco stepped forwards.

'No!' she almost shouted taking a step back 'I _know_ it didn't mean anything to you, I know you were just doing your job'

'Hermione please'

'Just listen to me! You _have_ to understand. I know it wasn't real for you but it was for me. While you were pretending it was all happening for real for me. I fell for you so, _so_ hard and although it means absolutely nothing to you it was still a huge part of my life. You can read about my lack of friends my strange teeth, my fear of broomsticks for days but the only thing that really matters in there, the only thing that actually meant _anything _was you.'

Draco stood completely still for a while as he took all of this in. He lifted his hands and massaged his temples. Suddenly he lashed out and punched the wall hard. He walked straight past Hermione to the bed where he sat with his head in his hands.

He couldn't do this for much longer; keeping all of his feelings inside was killing him.

Hermione frowned and walked over to stand in front of Draco who seemed to take no notice of her and didn't look up.

'Oh for goodness sake Draco' She said crossly putting her hands on her hips, 'what did you expect? For me to forget about how I feel about you' she paused, 'how I _felt_ about you I mean. Did you honestly think I would be able to just brush my feelings aside, all the hurt. Pretend that it never happened?'

Draco still didn't look up

'Or did you just want me to keep quiet about it, not keep reminding you of what you did' Hermione was nearly shouting now, she opened her mouth to speak again but shut it when she saw a tear fall cleanly on to the stone floor.

'Draco?' She said wanting a response.

Nothing

'Great' She said ' so we're back to the silence well that's just –'

Within about one millisecond Draco was off the bed and pressing his lips to Hermione's.

Out of shock Hermione staggered backwards a little but Draco kept hold of her lips and pulled her body closer to him.

Hermione could think of about three million reasons why she should push him away but for that moment none of them seemed worth it. Her body was quivering at his touch and melting in to his arms. After a few seconds they both pulled away breathing heavily.

Draco looked down at her, he couldn't take his eyes away from hers. He felt like his heart was going to break through his chest. He never knew he would miss anything as much as he had missed having her in his arms. While scolding himself severely for having no self-control he bent his head again to catch her lips with his.

Their arms winded around each other as they kissed. Each clinging on to the other desperate to never have to let go.

Neither thinking and both struggling for breath they fell on to the bed kissing each other fiercely.

**Hmmmm long time no update! Yeah sorry bout that people, please review  you know you want to! x x **


	15. Never Again

This is just in case anybody is still interested in this story ne more – I know its been ages but here goes…

They heard a loud bang and the sound of someone running up the stairs, Draco quickly untangled himself from Hermione and stood up straight, just in time before Lucius came storming in to the room.

'Draco, meeting, downstairs, one hour'

Draco nodded, desperately trying to get his breath back, 'can I ask what for?' He said eventually

'Oh nothing much' His father said casually, 'we just need to go over what we are going to be doing with the mudblood'

Hermione flinched 'I have a name' she said quietly

Lucius spun around and glared at her, 'What did you say?' He asked daringly

'I said' Hermione stated half furious half terrified 'I have a name'

At that moment Periom came through the door, 'Lucius – ' He was silenced by Lucius' hand.

'Not now Periom, this one has decided to test her luck and answer back. I think she needs to be taught a lesson – don't you?'

Hermione quivered and edged towards the wall.

Within three seconds Periom and Lucius were at her side and holding her still with her arms held painfully tightly behind her back.

'Perhaps Draco would like to do the honours' Said Periom with a grin, 'Would be a good lesson for him as well don't you agree?'

Draco froze, he couldn't – he couldn't possibly hurt her please let his father say no please.

'I think that's a splendid idea' Was the reply

Draco hesitated and then moved towards them.

'Don't be shy son, give her everything you have'

Draco could see that she was gazing at him, he tried to avoid her eyes, he knew that if he didn't he wouldn't be able to do it.

Slowly he lifted up his fist and gave her the first punch, and another, and another.

Ten minutes later the door swung open and a rather flustered looking Helena peered in.

'For goodness sake boys I sent Periom up to get you fifteen minutes ago, the meeting is now something's come up and it cant wait – she can.'

The two older men scowled at the woman but dropped Hermione and followed her out of the room.

For a split second Draco allowed his eyes to meet hers, his heart twisted when he saw her properly, she looked so broken. She had the look of a girl who had given up on everything, lost all hope.

He left the room, gently shutting the door behind him and followed the others downstairs.

Hermione slumped on to the floor with her back against the wall.

She put a hand to her bloody face it stung like hell but not half as much as the memory of the past half an hour.

She let her mind wander back to what had happened before she had been so desperate to feel like her loved her, even if it wasn't real.

Never again she though to herself, not after that, no amount of pretending could ever rid her of that memory.

She had truly given up.

Draco sighed and leaned back in his chair.

'How long is this going to take?' He asked irritably 'We have been here for an hour and no one has said anything at all important'

'What's wrong Drakie?' Periom mocked, 'desperate to get back to your love?'

'Periom!' Lucius almost shouted, he was so stern that Periom was instantly silent.

Goyle watched Lucius as he rubbed his head looking panicked.

Draco looked curiously at his father, he rarely saw the man genuinely stressed, and he suddenly looked very old and tiered.

All thoughts were washed away when a silky voice echoed through the room.

'Dearest Loyal death eaters, this is your master.'

A murmur of excitement and terror waved over the group for a second until Voldemort started talking again.

'Thank you for your time in finding me the mudblood but she is no longer needed, through my own method I have found a way to come back to you, expect me in four days time. I want the girl to be killed before then; I sense she could get in the way. Goodbye for now'

And the voice was gone.

Draco's heart fell in to the pit of his stomach, he was frozen rigid to his seat and could feel the eyes of his father on him.

When he returned to Hermione she was fast asleep on the bed, the sheets stained in blood. He carefully sat beside her and pushed her hair out of her face.

She used to look so peaceful when she slept, now she frowned, shivered and shook. He bent down to kiss her softly.

'I'm so sorry Hermione' He realised as he said it that he had said it far too many times before.

'Lucius please calm down' Goyle begged

'I knew it, I knew it, its going to happen again just like before. How can I let him do that Golye?'

Goyle was silent and Lucius fell back on to the armchair.

'It wasn't meant to take this long, I thought he would have sorted this by now'

'How can he know if you don't tell him?'

'He shouldn't need to be told, he loves her.'

'Well then' Goyle replied 'you have nothing to worry about'

Lucius didn't look convinced

'Like I said Lucius' He continued, 'He's not you, he may not make the same mistakes.'

-

Draco touched her jaw tenderly the necklace on her neck caught his eye.

'_I want her wearing this as well, now be careful son this necklace can not be forced on, the wearer must be willing to wear it, however once it is on it cannot be removed by anyone other than a pure blood.' _

'_What will the necklace do?' Draco asked curiously_

'_You will see in good time you must have faith in lord Voldemort'_

Slowly he reached out and held the fastening as he carefully tried to undo it.

'Argh!' Draco yelped as pain seeped through his fingers. He saw two little burns on his fingers where he had touched the necklace and frowned. Why could he not remove it, he was pureblood after all. It just didn't make sense.

R + R and I will love you forever


	16. Breaking Down and Giving Up

Thank yoo reviewer's yoo made me update so soon.

He peered out of the window, it was a foggy day but he could see something in the distance. One by one hundreds of people were appearing at the gates of the castle and walking inside. Deatheaters, it was happening already.

Draco looked down at her once more, he knew it was time it couldn't wait any longer.

'ALBUSSSSSS!!!' Professor McGonagle came storming in to his office, 'ALBUS ALBUS'

'Yes my dear?' He said calmly getting out of his chair.

'Letter, for you, urgent.' She said breathlessly

'Calm down Minerva, this could be anything you know' she simply nodded and stared at the letter as Dumbledoor opened it.

_Dumbledoor, _

_Today one thousand Deatheaters arrived here._

_Voldemort is coming, this can only mean war, you have four days to find and assemble an army._

_We are at Fernwood castle, Hermione is in great danger please hurry._

Draco 

McGonagle screamed when she saw the letter.

'Four days? We can't possibly get together that many in FOUR DAYS'

'We will' He said easily even though his face was white and his fingers shaking. 'We will Minerva because we have to.'

It was three in the afternoon, Draco paced around the room, it had been hours since he had sent the letter and he hoped with all his heart it had been received, Hermione was still asleep on the bed. He could hardly believe that it was just six hours ago that he was kissing her, it felt like eternity had passed.

Hermione sat up in bed, her heart pounded painfully in her chest as she saw Draco's eyes so intently on her. She felt wretched, she hadn't been out in days and had thrown up all the food she had consumed.

'Is there anything I can do?' Draco asked worriedly. Hermione shook her head and went in to the bathroom to wash the bloodstains off her skin. She couldn't talk to him, she could barely look at him.

Hermione took as long as she could bear to stand up in the shower as the water pounded down on her back she thought about what was going to happen to her. She knew it wouldn't be long before she was killed.

_Stop thinking about it Hermione, it's not going to do you any good. _

Hermione's face screwed up as she tried to block out the images of what they would do to her, she knew she needed to be strong but when she thought of Draco she broke.

Her lip trembled as the first tear slid down her cheek and splashed in to the bath. Her body quivered as she let out a small sob, she tried to hold on to the wall for support but fell to the bottom of the bath crying.

She curled up weeping as the shower flowed down her shoulders and hair as she went to burry her face a small glimmer caught her eye.

She didn't care anymore, she was dead anyway – without hesitation she reached out and clutched the razor.

She slashed violently at her wrists crying loudly. The blood looked as if it could fill the entire bath in seconds but in a moment the wound was healed. Hermione screamed in frustration and started stabbing it hard in to her thighs, stomach, everywhere she could reach.

She could hear a banging on the door but she ignored it and cried in despair when the cuts on her legs sealed up and the blood seeped down the plug.

'HERMIONE!' Draco was pounding as hard as he could on the door and screaming at her, 'HERMIONE LET ME IN. PLEASE!'

'GO AWAY' She yelled and scraped herself more with the razor

The thumps got louder as Draco started to break the door down. His heart fell in to the pit of his gut when he saw her.

'WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?' she screamed at him dragging it across her neck.

'Hermione' Draco walked towards her. The floor were covered in blood and her body wasn't much better.

'GET AWAY FROM ME.' Hermione backed away to the other side of the bath, 'YOU DID THIS. GO AWAY!'

'I can't' Hermione hit him as he ripped the razor from her hands.

'GET OFF ME GET _OFF'_ He held her firmly as she wriggled and squirmed trying to get out of his arms.

He easily lifted her out of the bath and sat on the floor grabbing a towel and not letting her go.

'Get off me Draco please. Just leave me alone' The energy had gone from her voice and eventually she went limp, sobbing on to him as he wrapped the towel around her and held her tight. Tears falling hastily down his face.

They sat like that for a while, she quietly whimpered and he rocked her gently.

'I hate you so much for this Draco. I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone in my whole life' Hermione said softly in to his shoulder.

'I know' He said gently.

'And I'll never forgive you'

'I know'

'Not ever, and I'll die hating you'

'I know'

'Draco?'

He moved slightly and looked down at her.

'Have you _ever_ loved me?' She asked timidly

Draco sighed and frowned and held her face in his hands.

'There has never been a moment in all the time I've known you, when I haven't loved you.'

Hermione nodded.

'Draco?' She whispered He looked at her 'please go away now'.

Draco gently lifted her off his lap, left the room and made his way downstairs. Hermione wrapped the towel around her body and sat motionless on the floor.

Here u go – sorry about the wait r+r plzzzz xxx


	17. Making it worse

Hey, i finally got round to updating...

Hermione sat slumped against the bathroom counter her eyes fixed on the pools of blood that had flowed so quickly from her.

She shivered and wrapped the towel closer to her longing for Draco's arms to be around her again but thankful that they were not. Her love for him had gotten her into this mess, she knew that she would let it happen all over again; she couldn't trust herself around him.

Drying herself off she tried not to look at the shower curtain that had been drenched in her blood, she took a deep breath and left the bathroom hoping that Draco had gone downstairs.

She moved over to her wardrobe pulling on her warmest clothes while marvelling at her skin which had not a single mark on, they must have known she would try something like this.

Something caught her eye out of the window and Hermione rushed over, her heart leaped with joy as she saw hundreds of people moving with great haste towards the castle, _they know I'm here, we're going to be ok! _She thought briefly. Her excitement lasted only for a moment, as when she looked closer she knew that they were people coming to help, but not to help her. The war was starting, and her side where completely unprepared for it.

She turned to dash to her wardrobe to find something, anything she could use to contact Dumbledore but as she did so the necklace grew tighter, _I'm afraid not my dear._ She could have imagined the voice but she knew that the necklace was inside her head.

She sat on her bed helplessly, staring at the wall, her mind was so full of things she couldn't focus on anything, Hogwarts, Ron, Harry, her friends, her family, Voldemort, Draco, _Draco_.

Her mind flew back to before Christmas, the way her heart had buckled every morning when their eyes had met across the hall back at Hogwarts.

Her heart twisted itself in knots as she remembered the first time he kissed her;_ '__Hey where you going?' Draco grabbed her arm._

_I was like an electric shock, starting at her arm and working its way up, making her heart twist and sending shivers down her spine. She let him pull her closer._

_He leaned down and kissed her ever so softly, caressing her lips, daring her to kiss him back._

_For a moment Hermione was in a strange dreamland, she kissed him back, as slowly and as softly that he was kissing her. She timidly put a hand on his shoulder, all thoughts of Harry were out of the window, all she wanted was Draco_.

She didn't want to think about this not now, she shouldn't be wasting her thoughts on him, it was all about to end she should be thinking about her family and her friends but now she had started she couldn't stop thinking about it.

Her mind wandered back to when she had found out Harry had cheated on her and she had first realised she was in love with Draco.

_Hermione's cheeks burned with anger and humiliation, she couldn't look at him, not now, she'd breakdown. She opened her mouth to speak, expecting a croak but instead she yelled, it wasn't Draco's fault but he was here so he was going to get the screaming._

'_The BASTARD' She half yelled half sobbed and wriggled in Draco's strong arms, 'why couldn't he tell me for God's sake. He's my best friend and he let me find out like THAT' Draco wasn't letting go, 'GET OFF ME' Hermione shouted._

'_No' Draco said softly_

'_LET ME GO' Hermione screamed_

'_I can't' Draco wasn't going to let go_

'_Let me go, let me go let m…'_

_Hermione dissolved in to a fit of tears and fell on to Draco who immediately wrapped his arms around her and subconsciously started to stroke her hair._

'_He was my best friend' Hermione said quietly, 'so what I wasn't in love with him, he was my best best friend'_

_Hermione lifted her head to look at Draco who wiped her tears away. Very slowly, she reached up to kiss him softly on the lips. Draco framed her face and looked down at her. _

'_Who wouldn't want you?' He said before he could help himself 'Hermione I love you'_

_Hermione's heart was jumping around her chest as she reached up to kiss him again._

'_Hermione I've always loved you'_

'_Draco I love you so much' Hermione only properly realising the words as she said them._

Her eyes prickled with tears she was surprised she had left to cry. She wished she could believe him when he said it was all lies, she felt like such an idiot but she couldn't forget the look on his face when he said it she knew it had meant something.

Without warning Draco marched in to the room and strode over to the window, breathing heavily as he watched.

'I thought I told you to go away' Hermione said bitterly

'You did' Draco said not looking at her. 'Have you seen?' he added

'Yes, very good, congratulations.' Hermione wanted him to leave, he was making it even harder for her to think straight.

They both remained silent, lost in their own thoughts.

Draco squinted his eyes looking out of the window desperately searching for some kind of sign that his message had been received and that everything was going to be ok, he saw nothing.

He looked over at Hermione and walked over to sit on the bed with her.

Hermione turned her head to look at him.

'What do you want now?' She asked silently begging him to leave, she couldn't bear to look at him any more.

Draco didn't say anything just put his hand to her face and tucked a strand of hair from across her face behind her ear.

'Are you feeling any better now' Draco asked gently not lifting his gaze from her face

'Yeah' She said dryly 'I feel great thanks' and looked away.

'Hermione – ' Draco started.

'_Don't_, Draco, just – _don't'_ Hermione lifted her head to face him again.

Draco said nothing more just leaned forwards and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

Hermione shook him off crossly 'I said don't'

'Hermione I love you'

'I know' Hermione said sadly, her eyes filling up with more tears 'but it just makes what you did so much worse'

'I'm sorry' Draco said helplessly.

Hermione's heart was racing and she could barely breath, she flinched as he took her hand in his.

Suddenly the walls of the room began to shake.

Draco leaped up off the bed.

'Its happening' He said

'What?' Hermione asked terrified.

'Voldemort is ready, the Deatheaters are prepared'

Draco pulled Hermione off the bed.

'I'm going to make this right' He said staring at her intently

Before Hermione could ask how or tell him it was too late, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her before she could protest.

He knew he shouldn't have, even if they came out of this alive she would never touch him again, he needed to feel her one last time. He pulled away from her slightly expecting her to push him away but she closed the gap between them and kissed him hard, putting her arms around his neck.

They both jumped apart as the room filled with green light and they heard footsteps. In charged Lucius Malfoy, Draco stood protectively in front of Hermione who was shaking with fear. Draco moved to draw his wand as he saw his father reaching inside his robes.

Lucius shook his head and Draco lowered his wand as he saw that Lucius had drawn, not his wand but Hermione's.

Confused Hermione reached out and caught it as Lucius threw it to her.

'Father –' Draco began

'You did good son' Lucius said proudly as he turned his back on them to face the wall that at that moment blasted open revealing twenty Deatheaters with their wands poised.

Please R+R so i know whether to continue or not...


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